....Diets.....

We dread it, we want it to work. Some know how to stick to it, others forget about it the week after... Some are good, others are bad. Some are addicted to them, and some just can't get addicted to them. We wish we could JUST get addicted to them....

Diets.....


Most of the time for me, I gain more weight on a diet, than just eating normally...
Don't ask me how, I just do...
I guess I lose weight SO very, very slowly, I just get annoyed and pissed, and then I raid the fridge in anger... Yup. That makes sense.
This is how my diet goes...

2 days before diet:
Hmm, I think I need to go on a diet, lose some weight, start exercising, be healthy.... Yeah, that's what I'll do, I'm going on a diet!!! It'll be awesome! I'll even drop a size or TWO! I'd look even more sexy than I already do!! WHOOO!!!
I'll start tomorrow though..... 'Cause... Because I want to spend as much time with food as possible today.........Yeah........

Day before diet:
I..I.....I didn't spend enough time with my food... I didn't get to eat the things I wanted to eat... I.I'll.... I'LL START TOMORROW! Okay?

1st day of diet:
Alright, so today's the day. Salads, water, and SMALL portions are my friend now... Yup, this is gonna be great..... I ALREADY feel the effects working now.... *stomach rumble* ...

2nd day of diet:
Sooooo, whatcha eating there, buddy? Ohh, that sounds good... Can, can I have a taste? Hmm? Oh that's right I'm on a diet, yeah, thanks for reminding me. I ALMOST forgot about it there, thanks... Thanks a lot..... Appreciate it....

3rd day of diet:
*thinks to self*
**I miss the non-diet days. Those were the best of times. There were so long ago, miss them so much... Yeah.
Oh, what's that guy eating? Man, that looks SO good. Smells amazing too. (is it just me or did my sense of smell get stronger? Diets make me a super smeller! This could take me places) Anyways, what was I thinking? Oh yeah, that guy's food. Is, is that a grilled steak? OMG, it is. Wtf, is *she* eating? Holy shit, that's a damn donut, she's eating a donut. BUT, I'm on a diet, not her.........

But she doesn't know that....

Maybe I can sneak a bite from her donut when she's not looking, yeah, that a good plan, secret agent style... Oh shit, she's looking at me... She knows my plan!!! SHE'S ON TO ME!!!! ABORT, ABORT!!**

4 day of diet:
Yum. Beautiful salad. It's just so GREEN, and yummy, and FILLING. *crunch* ...
...I should've stole that b!tc*'s donut....

I'm still so hungry. Just drink water... Lots and lots of water..... This isn't working...

FU*K THIS!!! Where's the food!!! Who's hiding the damn food!!?
*Eats like an animal*
Omg, this is the best food in the world! What is THIS, its amazing?? Mmm! OMG...

*gasp* Soda... I haven't had soda in like a MONTH!
OH! Cake! This is amazing!!

*someone walks by* "Hey! Aren't you supposed to be on a die-"
"F*CK YOU!!"

...

1st day of defeat:
Why!? WHHHYY!!? Why did I do that? How could I do that to myself?? May.Maybe...Probably I lost some weight...

119.5lbs

WHAT THE F*CK!?!?! I *GAINED* WEIGHT!!!!!???
*sobs*





......The story of my diets.... Don't judge me.